Oreo Revenge

People love Oreos.  And I guess I'll eat them, in a pinch.  "Pinch" being there are no sweets in the house to eat but Oreos.  Not eating something sweet is never an option.  Of course.

An Oreo is "Milk's Favorite Cookie"?  Yeah, because I'm pretty sure it isn't possible to swallow an Oreo without a glass of milk.  But you see, Oreos and I have a long history.  One of those, not-so-repressed, childhood stories.  But, I'll spare you my sad and dramatic tale of a little girl with the most boring, dry sack lunch known to man.  Let me just say a couple Oreos sans milk, while keeping with the theme of said dry lunch, don't have the same appeal when your mouth already feels like a desert.

I need Oreo therapy.  And I say, what better way to get that then by smashing a package of them into smithereens, and making something more delicious than the cookie alone can get you...okay, me?  Besides, I can wield my rolling pin like a maniac and I don't seem as crazy when it's for the sake of dessert.  Get out those frustrations, baby, you have an excuse!

Whipped Oreo Bars (No-Bake)

- 1 Package of regular Oreos, divided

- 3/4 stick or 6 T. unsalted butter, melted

- 1/4 tsp. salt

- 8 oz. package Cream Cheese, softened

- 1/2 c. sugar

- 1/4 tsp. vanilla

- 2 c. Cool Whip, thawed

- 6 oz. Semi-sweet chocolate

- 1 tsp. corn syrup

- 1 stick or 8 T. unsalted butter, cut into pieces

Completely line a 9x13 pan with foil.  Leave foil edges hanging over to easily lift bars from pan later.  Spray with non-stick cooking spray.  Set aside.

Open a package of Oreos and set 12 aside.  Put the remaining cookies in a resealable gallon bag.  Squeeze the air out and close tightly.  Start crushing the Oreos into crumbs with a rolling pin or other solid, sturdy object.  You can also do this in a food processor.  You want the Oreos to resemble a fine crumb; no large chunks of cookie.

In a large bowl, combine your Oreo crumbs, 6 Tbsp. melted butter, and 1/4 tsp. salt with a fork.  Toss crumbs until evenly coated and moist.  Spread crumbs in your prepared 9x13 pan and pack tightly into the bottom using the back of a spoon, your hand, or a tart tamper.  You want a nice firm crust.  Refrigerate crust while you work on your next step.

Using the same resealable gallon bag, crush the remaining 12 Oreos.  This time you want to crush them to a larger crumb, with chunks of cookie.  Empty into the same large bowl you used in the previous step (this saves you extra clean-up).  Add 2 cups of thawed Cool Whip.

In another bowl, whip softened cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla until fluffy.  Add to the Cool Whip and crumbs, fold until combined/no cream cheese mixture is visible.  Remove crust from fridge and evenly spread the whipped cookie mixture on the top, making sure to get as flat and level as possible; an offset spatula works perfectly.  Return to fridge.

In a microwave safe bowl or glass bowl over simmering water; melt chocolate, butter, and corn syrup together.  Stir until smooth and glossy.  If using microwave, stop and stir in 30 second intervals.  Remove pan from fridge and evenly spread melted chocolate over whipped cookie filling.  Return to fridge, cool for an hour and then cover pan.  Let bars cool completely to harden, about 3 hours to overnight.

Once bars are set, lift foil and place on a cutting board.  Be careful while cutting, going down on the bars with the point of the blade so as not to squish the filling out.  Keep cool until serving, and then prepare to enjoy Oreos the only way I know how!

Serious Nom